Ich weiß nicht was soll es bedeuten,Daß ich so traurig bin;
Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Psalm 42, 43
These must be separated by thousands of years, yet speak of the human condition as unchanging. We have our ups and downs, and quite often we have no idea why. Maybe we learn things that trigger our own changes, maybe we discover tricks that break us out of the spiral. Music, long walks, activity? Maybe just finding some purpose, even in the very short term.
We somehow feel this transcends mere brain chemistry, yet that is so often the approach to therapy. Surely it can’t be more than a tweak, addressing the symptom rather than the cause? I remember a film from my youth “Morgan – a suitable case for treatment” where the treatment for manic depression left Morgan strangely inanimate, bereft of all his artistic talent, a shell of what had been before. Was he any better off? Was he happier?
Contentment is a great thing. Where does it come from? For me it started with self-knowledge, with recognising the sources of some of my deepest desires. It started with discovering personality type and realising I wasn’t the only one like me. With understanding that it was OK for others to be very unlike me, and vice-versa. I was OK the way I was. I might want to change or be changed, but the essential ‘me’ was OK. And other people were less irritating when I knew that their deep-seated desires were different from mine, their nature and history moulding them to something I could accept, even if I couldn’t understand.
“Love your neighbour as yourself” – this contains the presupposition that you love yourself. Lots of us might not! And if we don’t, then that’s where we have to start. Christ didn’t say Despise others as you despise yourself, he didn’t say Disparage others as you disparage yourself. We have to learn to love ourselves, otherwise all we see in others is a reflection of ourselves.
There’s a place to start. Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Love languages. Find yourself; only then can you begin to appreciate others.
Bless you!
